There is a wooden hangboard bolted to my wall. Every day, I hang from it for a few seconds, sometimes minutes. My fingers hurt. I fall. I rest. I try again.
The hang board has taught me many things: start small, rest is not laziness, falling is data.
But one thing it taught me in the most direct and painful way is this:
Don't try too hard.
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What Does "Trying Too Hard" Mean?
Trying too hard means: you can no longer hold on, but your fingers are still clawing at that edge.
You have already fallen off the board, but in your mind, you refuse to accept that you fell.
You know you can only hang from the smallest edge today, but you reach for the biggest one anyway.
Trying too hard is using today's energy to fight a battle you already lost yesterday.
On the hanging board, trying too hard looks very obvious: you can't hold on anymore. Your fingers are slipping. Your shoulders are shaking. But you grit your teeth and refuse to let go. And then what? Then you get injured. The board didn't hurt you. You hurt yourself by refusing to let go.
The same thing happens in life.
You try too hard with an ex—replaying "what if I had done better."
You try too hard with words already spoken—lying awake at 2 AM thinking "I should have said something else."
You try too hard with something already messed up—wishing you could go back and slap yourself.
The problem is: the match is over. The opponent has left. But you are still standing in the ring, refusing to step down.
The climbing hangboard taught me a simple truth: when you can't hold on anymore, the bravest thing to do is let go.
Not giving up. Just admitting "not this time," landing safely, and trying again tomorrow.
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Three Ways People Try Too Hard (On and Off the Board)
1. Trying too hard with yourself
"I can't even hold five seconds? I did it yesterday!"
You judge yourself. You refuse to forgive yourself. The result is not getting stronger. The result is inflamed tendons.
2. Trying too hard with others
"He can hold that edge, so why can't I?"
Then you force yourself to reach something you're not ready for. You get hurt. Someone else's progress has nothing to do with you.
3. Trying too hard with the board
The board is just a board. It is not targeting you. It is not testing you. It is just there. If you fight it, it doesn't react. You just hurt yourself.
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Why Trying Too Hard Is Bad
Not because you are "not strong enough."
Actually, people who try too hard are often very tough, very enduring, very persistent. They don't fail because they can't do it. They fail because they choose the wrong battlefield.
On the climbing hang board, the cost of trying too hard is very concrete: you refuse to let go, so you get injured. You get injured, so you have to rest for two weeks. You rest for two weeks, your progress goes back to zero.
The same is true in life.
You try too hard with someone who doesn't care about you. You lose your appetite. They probably don't even know. You spend an entire night going over old grudges. The person who upset you is probably watching TV and eating snacks. You pour your most precious attention and emotional energy into something you cannot change.
Then you have no energy left for things you can actually change.
People who try too hard are not lacking effort. They are putting their effort in the wrong direction.
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What the rock climbing hangboard Taught Me: Not Trying Too Hard ≠ Giving Up
Many people are afraid that "not trying too hard" means admitting defeat, lying flat, giving up.
The hangboard taught me: no.
Not trying too hard means admitting "I can't do this right now," then going back to the easier edge and practicing there. Instead of obsessing over the one you can't reach and getting injured.
People who don't try too hard are not unwilling to improve. They know that progress does not come from one stubborn attempt. It comes from countless cycles of letting go, resting, and trying again.
It's like a boxer who gets knocked down. He has two choices:
· Lie on the ground, bleeding, thinking "why did he hit me" "this is unfair."
· Stand up, go back to his corner, let his coach handle the wound, and throw the next punch when the next round starts.
The first is trying too hard. The second is not.
Not trying too hard on the climbing training board means: you fall, you stand up, you dust off your hands, and you come back tomorrow.
People who don't try too hard are not free of pain. They just know: when the pain is over, you do what needs to be done.
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The "Letting Go" Rule I Learned from the Hangboard
The hangboard taught me a simple process for deciding whether to keep holding on:
Step 1: Recognize the signal
When your fingers are slipping, your shoulders are shaking, your form has collapsed, but your mind is saying "just a little longer" — stop. That is the signal.
Step 2: Ask yourself three questions
· How much longer can I hold on safely? (Usually the answer is: less than one second.)
· If I keep forcing this, will I get hurt? (Usually the answer is: yes.)
· If I let go this time, can I try again tomorrow? (Usually the answer is: yes.)
Step 3: Let go
Don't wait until you "think it through" to let go. Your body knows when to let go. But there is a voice in your head saying "just a little more." Sometimes that voice is wrong.
Step 4: Save your energy for tomorrow
You hung for five seconds today. Tomorrow you might hang for six. Or maybe only four. Either is fine. Progress is not a straight line. People who try too hard want "better every single day," which is impossible. People who don't try too hard accept the ups and downs, and just keep going over the long term.
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A Lesson from Dabing's Live Stream
Someone asked Dabing in a live stream: "I just can't let go. What should I do?"
Dabing said something rough but very true:
"You can't let go because it doesn't hurt enough yet. When it hurts enough, you will let go naturally."
The hangboard is the same.
No one keeps their fingers clawing at an edge they can't hold until their ligaments tear. Not because they have a sudden realization. Because it hurts too much.
So if you are still trying too hard, maybe it just doesn't hurt enough yet.
When it hurts enough, your instincts will make you let go.
The question is: do you really need to wait until it hurts that much?
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Final Thought
Don't try too hard.
This is not telling you to stop working hard, stop persisting, stop being serious.
It is telling you to learn one thing:
Put your energy into things you can change.
Give your peace to things you cannot change.
And have the wisdom to tell the difference.
My hangboard has edges of different sizes. Big, medium, small.
I no longer reach for the one I cannot hold.
I hang from the one that fits me right now. Steady. Then I come down.
Maybe tomorrow I'll try the bigger one. Or the day after. Or next week.
Not trying too hard. But not giving up either.
That is the best thing my hangboard has taught me.
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The stove is hot. You don't need to "think it through" before you let go. You can let go now.